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 Ballard Smith |
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Talking out of Their Asses (Politics 101)
Here are some quotes from the leading Democratic Presidential hopefuls...
Hillary Clinton: ”We’re going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good.”
Translation: We'll have to raise taxes.
Barak Obama: ”I have not foreclosed the possibility that we might need additional revenue.”
Translation: We'll have to raise taxes.
John Edwards: ”We’ll have to raise taxes.”
Translation: We'll have to raise taxes.
Hillary sounds like she is saying “you don’t deserve what you have now, so give it to me!” But hey, she's a crazy bitch (our favorite tune) and she does look a lot like a man... a very scary man with bad skin, bad hair and a terrible wardrobe, but a man nonetheless.
Obama, if snakes could actually talk, that’s what they might say. At least he's a good-looking snake, even if he has a name that sounds suspiciously like half of the terrorists we are currently trying to fight across the world.
At least Edwards doesn’t mince his words on this topic. But of course, he has a history of opening his mouth too much, now doesn’t he? Should a liberal really be able to get away with patronizing the Vice-president about his gay daugher and not get called out by his very own, "we love all them queers" party? I call bullshit.
What is happening right now is that the Democratic controlled Congress are passing budgets that will call for the current tax cuts to expire raising our taxes by more than $392 billion! Now, if they were going to use that money to construct a border fence to stop illegal immigration, maybe it isn’t so bad. But chances are the money will find its way into the bottomless pit of unnecessary spending that our government is so good at... Democrat OR Republic.
Get Outta My Head, Burger King!
That Burger King guy scares the hell out of me! If I ever wake up to see that scary son of a bitch staring in my window he’s going to get a clip full of 9mm ammo unloaded on him! Every kid under the age of 7 that has watched those commercials has to be petrified walking into a Burger King for lunch with their mommy! Mommy no! The boogie man lives here! I don’t want a king’s hat! Please, mommy, please!
I’m using the drive thru for my next Whopper and ONLY during daylight hours! Hell, I might just head on over to Wendy’s and skip the Whopper. But if Dave tries to serve me, holy shit! I’m never eating fast food again!
Hasta la Vista, United States
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| High school students in California, desicrating the American flag and flying the Mexican flag proudly over their school. Welcome to George Bush's new America. |
OK, time to wake up people. This is where our country is headed if we don't decide to step up and start protecting our borders. I'm a conservative (wow, really... we couldn't tell by reading this crap you post on here!), not necessarily a Republican. I'm not a huge fan of George Bush (shocking), and especially his pussy stance on immigration, illegal or otherwise.
Here are some pictures of some lovely high-school students at Montebello High School in California. Now you won't see this story in the New York Times (favorite commy rag of the radical left-wing conspiracy fucks) or on CNN. Wolf Blitzer will not be showing up to do a remote broadcast from the front of this school. But here's what's going on.
These "children" are living proof of where our country is headed... we will soon become North Mexico if something isn't done. Look carefully at the flag pole. This is where the Stars and Bars, Old Glory, the AMERICAN FUCKING FLAG is supposed to be hung proudly, high above any other state or local flag, and given the respect it deserves. The flag our brothers, sisters, fathers and grand-fathers gave their lives for... and are still dying for. The flag that represents our country, our faith, our culture, our lifestyle, our "Americanism".
Instead, these students choose to fly the Mexican flag in front of one of OUR schools. And to top it off, disrespect the country that they die to live in, by hanging OUR flag upside down, below their flag. WAKE UP PEOPLE!!
I'm trying to bite my tongue here and not go off on one of my usual rants, for fear of being accused of racism. But folks, we are ALL from somewhere else. The only native Americans have been shoved off of their land and placed in isolated reservations, much to the dismay of myself and other Americans. This was NOT one of our better moments in history, and I am ashamed of that part of our history. That being said, Americans don't fly a German flag, or an Irish flag or a Russion, Polish, Swedish or whatever the hell place we came from flag... we're Americans. We don't think an entire country should be held hostage by our nationality or background.
Doesn't it piss you off that in order to get money out of your ATM, you first have to select English to read the fucking menu. Holy shit, we're in American, we speak English. If you want to live here, fine. We welcome you. But there are a few rules that you have to follow:
These rules are not just for our brothers south of the border. This applies to all of the people wanting to escape the hell they live in to come to the great United States of America. If you hate our country, please stay the fuck out of it. We'll try to manage without you and your camel-scented ass. If you want to immigrate to the USA, welcome aboard. And please, keep your culture, it's very important, but DO NOT try to change ours when you get here.
To my beloved Mexican-American, Hispanic or whatever the P.C. term is presently, I apologize for my rant. You are not the target of my angst here. I love you guys, you help make this country what it is.
Capture of Terrorist Rosie Obama-rama
One of the biggest threats to America has finally been captured. Rosie al-Jaquarie Obama-rama was finally taken in to custody on the set of t.v.'s "The View" earlier this week. Reports are sketchy, but she was obviously taken by surprise. The picture shows her as she looked when FBI agents nabbed her in her dressing room before getting hair and makeup just minutes before taping of The View.
Babs Walters adamently denies any involvement or knowledge of Obama-rama's anti-American sentiments and actions. Ms. Walters, creater and host of The View, made this statement to reporters shortly after hearing of the capture:
"We here at The View fully support our troops, even though the war is wrong and the soldiers are criminals. Rosie is a bad seed, and threatened to use a "two-way" on me if I didn't give her a spot on the show. Now I don't know what that means exactly, but it smelled funny and just made me nervous. Oh yeah... George Bush sucks."
Obama-rama has been at the center of many controversies over the recent years. With a face for radio and a brain for play-doh, our favorite lesbian terrorist has been battling with her own network, her employer, Donald Trump, Bill O'Reilly, George Bush, the army/navy/marines, and pretty much anybody else who has a decent idea of what this fine country should be and should do to keep it's place in the world safe from fucking radical Islam terrorists.
If only being an ugly, hairy, nasty, fat, radical lesbian piece-of-shit was punishable by death. Maybe in the future. Perhaps we could hang her at the fence in southern California, using her as a scarecrow to shoo away the thousands of illegals and terrorist implants who traipse into our fine country every day. There may be something useful this cow can do after all?
Troy Gets Back to His Roots
After getting dumped, again, by his wonderful live-in girlfriend, Troy decided it was time to get back to what made him cool in the first place.
Could Troy's coolness come from his recent bout with anorexia and his waiffish new figure? That unmistakeble ripped body that comes from a diet of cheese stix and Budweiser. That awesome figure that makes him look like a teenage school-girl who hasn't gotten her "boobies" yet. No, it's not that.
Could it be his playboy lifestyle, partying every night of the week, looking for love, even though he can't pay the cable bill or truck insurance? No, it's not that.
Could it be the wonderful quaff that sits atop his massive cranium, carefully styled and groomed and pampered like a rich woman's poodle? Or the 70's porn-star mustache that is routinely stroked as he ponders his next adventure? Or maybe it's the new tennis shoes that he got "buy one get one free" at the Goodwill store. No, it's not that either.
What about the incredible stories of meeting women at grocery stores, or picking them up on the way home from a show when he got "sidetracked". Instead of telling the more boring truth, that he finds them on-line and at the Flamingo. Making bandmates wonder about his well-being, worrying he's been arrested for a DUI and sitting helplessly in a cell next to a big guy named "Roscoe" that wants to cuddle. Or maybe he's in a ditch, dying, as he reaches for his last beer before the ambulance finds him. Or maybe he's lost at the lake looking for a loving hoochie to take him in for the evening. No, it's not that.
Where does this coolness come from? Only Troy can tell you...
"I'm in a band, bitch!"
Put on some clothes, Squint!
Damn it Squint. I told you the next time you sleep in my kid's bed you had to wear your pajamas. No more of this "commando" crap at my house.
Who's gonna clean up this mess? Not me!
Smoking Ban Leads to violence at the Pig
This, being POJ, would like to take this opportunity to apologize for the melee on Saturday night at the Pig. On behalf of the sound crew, we are truly sorry for the fight that broke out at the end of the night. Our guy was totally out of line and is deserving of the DOTW award for certain. Not to say that others were innocent in the events leading up to this, but we won't mention any names here.
We'd also like to say, if you are a woman that is mooching off of one of the band members, living in his place and playing "I'm in love"... then you decide to leave and start dating one of our sound guys, DON'T bring your sorry ass back to our shows... EVER!! Stay the fuck away, we don't want to see you anymore. We certainly don't want the drama that is caused by your presence. Move on with you life and find another band to torment, we won't have any hard feelings.*
(*Disclaimer: This rule obviously doesn't apply to women involved with keyboard players, because they are ALWAYS well-behaved and welcome at shows with their numerous new boyfriends. If those poor bastards can put up with you, so can we. But if you start fucking another band member, you will be banned from further shows.)
For our loyal POJ Nation that was involved, we're sorry for the fight, because we are SURE you didn't have anything to do with initiating or provoking anybody, right! RIGHT. Anyway... Water under the bridge, we don't want this sort of thing going on again at a POJ show, and our boys have been put on notice and threatened with physical violence and psychological torment if it happens again.
We have pondered the events of St. Patricks Day, 2007, and have determined that the blame lies solely on the Independence City Council for banning cigarettes and making normally peace-loving people turn to acts of rage. But hey, thanks for watching out for us, we really appreciate your interest in our health. We know it has nothing at all to do with your fucking Nazi, Big Brother mentality and wanting to impose your worthless, liberal ideas on our lives.
Now let's all just get along, save the fighting for home where it belongs. Go home, eat some meat, get a beer and light up.
Tailgating Permitted at Suicide (Only for Ex-rockers)
CONCORD, N.H. -- Family members of singer Brad Delp of the classic rock band Boston said his death last week was a suicide. The family has issued a statement through police in Concord but they gave no other details about his death.
Police, however, said that Delp poisoned himself with carbon monoxide with two charcoal grills he started inside a sealed bathroom.
"He was a man who gave all he had to give to everyone around him, whether family, friends, fans or strangers," the family said in the statement. "He gave as long as he could, as best he could, and he was very tired. We take comfort in knowing that he is now, at last, at peace." Police have said Delp's fiancee, Pamela Sullivan, found him at his home on Friday.
OK, OK. Where to begin. Well, I like every other dude my age, loved Boston back in the day. They were rock gods. But charcoal grills in the bathroom? Man. I hear the police sent a sketch artist to do a charcoal sketch of the crime scene. Yeah, I stole that one.
Let's all take a moment to remember a "Man I'll Never Be". He was found "Smokin" in the bathroom, but the fire still burns inside. I can't let go of this, how in the hell do you get not ONE, but TWO, Webers in your bathroom anyway? Now that's one creative mother fucker to the end. I hardly have room to wipe my ass in my bathroom, but I guess I'm not a singer in a "Rock n Roll Band" either. Kudos to him. He actually pinned a note to the collar of his shirt, duck taped (How can a rocker kill himself without using a little "rock n roll tape"), then left a note, warning of the carbon monoxide fumes in the house in case anybody came in. Now that's a nice guy.
Well, we'll all miss you Brad Delp (at least those of us who actually remember you). Rock on Brad, sing a happy tune to St. Peter at the gate... and keep on rockin, brotha!!
Global Warming Expedition Canceled Due to Cold Weather
This rant could have had so many titles. "Al Gore, Kiss My Ass... (and how in the hell did a piece of crap like you win an Oscar?) "; "Global Warming is as Real as the Chance You'll Ever Get Elected President, You Douchebag"; "Retarded Liberal Scientist Go on Global Warming Expedition. Suprised by Freezing Temps"; "Seriously, It's Cold at the North Pole?"; "That's Weird" ... well, I could go on but you get the point.
I cannot comment more on the liberal conspiracy to prey on your fears and emotions, making every U.S. citizen feel personaly responsible for destroying the planet. If you want to save somebody, concentrate on the fast food restaurants, crappy schools, and "it's not my fault" fucking parents who are making our kids fat, stupid and lazy. Now go out and buy a big, goddam SUV, sit in the McDonald's drive thru for 30 minutes waiting for that delicious, artery clogging food, and hit the road!
For fear of further offending any of our wonderful readers, I will simply post a real article on this Global Warming Expedition Gone Bad.
Folks, you can’t make this stuff up. However, I sincerely beg all readers to properly stow potables, combustibles, and sharp objects before proceeding further.
An expedition to the North Pole to bring attention to global warming was cancelled due to the extraordinarily cold weather. I kid you not. As reported by the Associated Press Monday.
The explorers, Ann Bancroft and Liv Arnesen, on Saturday called off what was intended to be a 530-mile trek across the Arctic Ocean after Arnesen suffered frostbite in three of her toes, and extreme cold temperatures drained the batteries in some of their electronic equipment.
"Ann said losing toes and going forward at all costs was never part of the journey," said Ann Atwood, who helped organize the expedition.
I’m verklempt, and having difficulty typing through the tears of laughter. But, unlike our intrepid explorers, I must go on for the benefit of mankind:
Then there was the cold - quite a bit colder, Atwood said, then Bancroft and Arnesen had expected. One night they measured the temperature inside their tent at 58 degrees below zero, and outside temperatures were exceeding 100 below zero at times, Atwood said.
"My first reaction when they called to say there were calling it off was that they just sounded really, really cold," Atwood said.
<Johnny Carson voice> How cold was it? </Johnny Carson voice>:
She said Bancroft and Arnesen were applying hot water bottles to Arnesen's foot every night, but had to wake up periodically because the bottles froze.
Ouch. That’s cold! Marvelously, it was much colder then Bancroft’s trip 21 years ago (wow, colder now than in 1986... the globe IS warming):
The explorers had planned to call in regular updates to school groups by satellite phone, and had planned online posts with photographic evidence of global warming. In contrast to Bancroft's 1986 trek across the Arctic with fellow Minnesota explorer Will Steger, this time she and Arnesen were prepared to don body suits and swim through areas where polar ice has melted.
<insert hysterical laughter here>:
Atwood said there was some irony that a trip to call attention to global warming was scuttled in part by extreme cold temperatures.
"They were experiencing temperatures that weren't expected with global warming," Atwood said. "But one of the things we see with global warming is unpredictability."
Yep. It was soooooo cold up there because of global warming.
Talk amongst yourselves, for I’m having trouble breathing and might need medical attention! Are these people for real?
The Ice House is COOL!
Man, it's nice to get out of town for a change. Our first official band road-trip for a very, very long time. Brent finally bitched enough about having to drive 300 miles every time we played, and guilted us into driving down to his beloved hillbilly heaven. Good idea Brent-o, this place kicks seious rock n roll ass! The biggest, baddest room we've ever played in. Good enough for the likes of L.A. Guns, Bret Michaels, Seven Mary 3, Chris Daughtry.... and yes, even POJ!
Here's the weekend. Rent a U-haul at 9:00 a.m. and meet at John's house. Well, OK, it's John, so actually the trailer wasn't rented until after 10:00 and everybody was waiting for him at his house. We loaded up with John, Ballard, Troy and Flea. Luckily, Flea kept us entertained with stories of past rock n roll exploits for nearly 3 hours. Ballard enjoyed the conversation quite a bit, we actually heard him say "yeah" between snoring on occasion. Troy was just happy to be out of the apartment, and hung his head out the window like a tiny, little puppy most of the trip. Well, except for when he took a drink. He actually made the entire trip without having to stop for beer. Of course he brought 3 cases with him... but who's counting.
We finally found Brent's ozark paradise about 3 hours late. A lovely home on the hill, over looking the valley below. Good thing it wasn't snowing or we'd never got up that goddamn hill! We figure he built his new home up on Rocky Top to help defend against invading hoards from the south.
We finally got to the bar to set up. After John nearly jack-knifing the trailer on numerous occasions, we got situated. And who show's up... our old buddy Dan. Ready to help. A brief tour of the bar reveals a huge restaurant in the front, a kick-ass ice bar with a mind-boggling waterfall behind to stare at while you wait for your drink. And yes, the bar is actually made out of ice. Then you get into to room where the band plays.... WOW. A huge stage, yes a real stage. We could have put like 10 Flamingo stages on this one. Don't fall off! Well, you get the idea. This place kicks ass, and the clientele was very high class. We were impressed. We even had our own "band room" on the side of the stage, fully stocked with liquor and hookers.
Who'da thought a place like this could exist in Bentonville, AR. Thanks to Derick and company for making us feel at home, and letting us play down there. This bar you have to see, we're hoping to make a caravan of loyal POJ Nation members the next time down. It's an easy drive, and well worth the trip. I hear Brent's making brats for everybody. He's gonna put you all up at his house too! (Don't tell Sue)
Welcome to Olathe - You got a red ticket?
Holy Shit. A great new place for us, we finally made it to God's country. Dave and his lovely wife and daughter run a great place out there, nice to have a fellow musician running a bar for a change. Dave know's what's up when it comes to hosting some rock n roll. But what the hell is up with the carnival tickets.
We must say, there were some beautiful women out there this weekend. We can't wait to go back. But please leave your drunk, beligerant husbands at home next time. It ain't that fun dealing with Olathe's finest after the show when we're trying to load out! Lighten up people. We won't go into the gorey details, just glad it wasn't a regular out there causing all that trouble. Almost had a long overdue band "scuffle"... maybe next time, sorry Troy. Get 'em killer.
Thanks to the regulars that showed up and supported us in the new place. Justin, Sara, Daniel, Wendy and hubby, Mike and the woman and everybody else... we can't thank you enough for showing up and making us feel at home. We'll be back at Freddy T's for sure!!
New Digs for Eclipse
Well, it looks good now. The boys in Raytown knocked out a wall and added about 20' of prime real estate to their bar. It looks kick as, but for the band, it's like playing in a cave... and you guys look so far away across that big dance floor now. A great show for us, the crowd kicked ass, as always. We were worried about playing in there after the remodeling, but have decided it's a great change. We'll get used to playing in the next room.
We'll be back there in a few months. A little birdie tells me that the Eclipse may be the place to be for New Year's Eve this year...
'Tis the Tax Season
Democrats claim they want to raise taxes on the rich and provide tax cuts for the poor, in essence wiping out the economic growth we’ve experienced that have been fueled by the Bush administration’s tax cuts. Well, here are some facts for you to consider. (While our economy reaches nearly unequaled growth, which you’ll never hear about within any headline in the nightly news.)
These numbers are from the IRS, based on 2003 tax returns. The real truth is the wealthiest Americans already pay most taxes and the bottom 50% of wage earners pay hardly anything at all. I am not making this stuff up, people.
2003 statistics
Get it? 5% of all wage earners pay over HALF of all taxes collected already.
But let’s not stop there.
Now, let’s go back a couple years to a tax year left over from the Clinton administration.
2001 statistics
Here are some statistics reported during the last presidential election. The marginal rate for the Bush family in 2003 was 30%. This means for every dollar the Bush family made, they paid 30 cents to the federal government. What about Kerry/Heinz? They paid only 12.9%. About 13 cents for every dollar they made went to the federal government. And Kerry had the nerve to align himself with Middle America?
I don’t like it any more than anyone else when I see my tax bill every year. But you can bet your soul that the longer the Democrats are in control, your taxes will go up. You can count on it.
But there are better ways. Let’s start with a line item veto on spending bills. But the congress will not allow that. They have voted that down every single time it comes up for a vote. These are the same legislators (Republicans & Democrats alike) screaming about tax cuts or tax hikes and how Middle America is getting ripped off. They are in fact, the ones ripping you off. Give the president (any president) a line item veto so he can veto the pork barrel spending on wasteful, unnecessary projects. If this was in place, we might even see more tax cuts for everyone, more economic growth and better, more prosperous times for all. Take an economics course and learn it for yourself. Don’t listen to prime time media. Learn the facts for yourself and you’ll find you aren’t getting even half the story and many times you are not getting the story at all, but some foolish headline about a pornographic email, ten year old murder case or a conspiracy theory to divert attention from the real story.
Enough already about who pays more in taxes and who gets the breaks.
And anyone who wants to argue about the budget surplus we had under the Clinton era, let’s also talk about the dismantling of the CIA, the reduction of our armed forces and the gutting of FBI. Then contrast that to our lack of intelligence regarding terrorist activity and our now strained armed forces trying to do a job that needs to be done.
If we had the same biased media and the same character of democrats during WWII (mind you this isn’t Harry Truman’s party anymore), they would have been calling for Eisenhower’s head 3 weeks into D-day, calling it a failure, screaming for a withdrawal. They would have grilled Mac Arthur on why would he ever go back to the Philippines went he was trounced the first time. They would be creating a mass hysteria within public opinion about our boys dying over there. Thank God for the greatest generation. Thank God for our young, brave troops today. Shame on anyone who thinks this isn’t the early years of WWIII or that Nancy Pelosi is good for our country or that the democrats are going to fix anything. Instead of arguing about the definition of marriage, cloning, or taking God out of the pledge of allegiance, we should be reinstating the draft, building a wall on the southern border and gutting the UN. My 12 year old son is already talking of joining the armed forces, wondering about what death in combat would be like, and I am proud of his young American spirit. Should that come to pass, I certainly will grieve, but I’m not going to turn into that bitch the democrats propped up as their poster child, Cindy Sheehan. She should be brought up on treason charges, found guilty and executed.
And if you don’t agree with me, start your own fucking website. You aren’t getting any time here. Move along, move out. See ya.
Old Acquaintences? I forgot already.
Well, we survived the marathon weekend at the Flamingo. Three nights, 20 hours, 15 sets, 160 songs and a lot of beer and Crown Royal, and a little tequila. Thanks to Dave and Flea and Squint for the tech support this weekend, we couldn't play without these guys. Actually we could, but they like to hear things like that from us!
Our buddy Dave finally asked his girlfriend to marry him... of course she said "no", but he broke down and begged and cried and she finally gave in so he'd shut the hell up about it. Squint was able to save his foot after a 6-month bout with athletes foot. Flea has reached his goal of collecting 160GB of free internet porn, congratulations on that accomplishment, and be sure to mail Squint a copy of all of it.
Ballard survived another year with our sorry asses. If he had any hair, we're sure 3 days in a row of us would have made him pull it out anyway. Brent was able to get his wife out to hear us this weekend, it's only been 10 years. Now she might believe that he really does play in a band when he comes up from Arkansas once a month. Troy found blisters he never knew existed this weekend and cooked up over half of the 97 eggs he bought. Next time you and your wife need to stay at my house for a whole weekend, remind me to get a hotel room! And finally, John has regained his vision, although the old-man glasses look damn sexy. After looking at Lyle and the flamingo regulars all weekend, maybe blind isn't so bad.
We're heading to some new bars this year, even new states. New songs in the works. Battle of the bands this summer (look out Lost Dog). Who knows what else...
It was a great 2006 for us. We appreciate all of the POJ Nation for supporting us over the years. We also met a lot of new people who seem to enjoy what we do. Keep coming out, we aren't getting any younger.
"The Real 9/11" - by Charlie Sheen
This is for the stupid bastard that I had to listen to tonight trying to tell me that the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center was an inside job, master-minded by the Bush administration. You are truly a stupid fuck. What world are you living in? You and Charlie Sheen and his retarded father, Martin, should all pack up and move over to Iraq for awhile. Maybe even live in a fucking cave in Afghanistan with some of your mullah buddies.
Anybody that can sit there with a straight face and say they thought the government of the greatest free nation in the world would plan a disaster to kill 3,000 of it's own citizens, must be a douchebag. And you my friend, are a douchebag of the worst order. How dare you minimize the lives of all of those people because you hate George Bush. Pull your fucking head out of your ass.
Let's see what would have had to gone into your big inside job to make such an event happen. You know what, I'm not even going to waste my time here doing that. Fuck you.
Here's what I think. Some brilliant actor (he must be brilliant, look at all of his brilliant performances in "Men at Work", "Deadfall", "Scary Movie 3 and 4", "Hot Shots Part Deux") OK, you get my point. Anyway, he has this brilliant idea along with his crazy fucking dad, Martin, that their hatred of the United States and it's president is so deep, that they devised a masterful plan to prove to the world that our country sucks. So they hired a film crew, staged a couple of plane hi-jackings and had some special effects guys make it look like the World Trade Center was actually attacked by two airplanes. He hired some of his mullah friends to act out the role of terrorists. They then hired Chris Angel "Mindfreak" to make the 8 acres of building in the middle of Manhattan disappear. And just to make it seem real, they put a fake hole in the side of the Pentagon. To make the illusion seem even more real, they killed nearly 3,000 Republicans from the midwest (because we are just fly-over land, and don't really exist anyway) and strategically placed their dead corpses around the fake destruction and then tricked the entire world into believing that it was actually a terrorist attack and not just a ploy on the Sheen family's part to promote their next movie.
Do you now see how stupid you are, my friend. We'll say a prayer for your stupid ass and hope that the next staged terrorist attack doesn't happen where you live.
Turkey Fog - Part Deux
If you really do think our own government plotted to blow up the World Trade Center, you are free to believe so, but please keep your opinions to yourself at a POJ show. We still aren’t sure why that monstrous 6’ 5” wide-body didn’t kick the shit out of Brent for his vicious verbal assault on the same after he claimed he had evidence, but Brent is grateful his limbs are still intact. Saturday night there were several folks commenting about how loud the early morning rant actually was. He doesn’t remember it that way. His memory is obscured by flying mustard bottles magically putting themselves away inside the refrigerator door.
Now his wife has some nice folks to commiserate with regarding his natural ability to vocally express viewpoints - routinely practiced while watching The Factor, or a Chiefs game. As for Dale, demolition charges placed in the elevator shaft columns? What kind of fog are you in?
Turkey Fog
For some of you special people that showed up at the Friday night show at the Flamingo, you may know have been part of the fog yourself. It is a wicked storm that occasionally hits POJ shows. Although we think the turkey was compromised, but we'd never actually accuse our favorite bartenders of such a dispicable practice.
After the show, Brent graciously took over Troy's former job as John's phone inspector, going through the juiciest of numbers. (Of course it was Brent and Squint's fault, I was making a sandwich.)
Party girl #3, you're the best. It was so nice of you to come up on stage and plant one on me in front of your new boyfriend, probably gave him a warm, fuzzy feeling all over.
Banker Chic, I think you were berated at the bar in front of Pony Boy. But I really am the only one that cares about you. Those nice homeless, unemployed boys are fun to play with, but wouldn't you like somebody with a fucking job?
And for Mr. and Ms. "We have Lyle's old phone number", we do apologize. You are probably really nice people, and not dirty, old bastards as was suggested in our phone conversation. And thanks for calling me back later in the week and informing me that you are, in fact, NOT Lyle. And lastly, Young One. You didn't answer Brent's call and you're a bit of a drama queen anyway, so it's probably best you've been added to the Do Not Call list.
I have taken measures to insure that Brent and/or Squint do not rifle through my phone in the future. Making obscene calls early in the morning after a night of drinking is just not nice. But it's fun as hell... so they tell me. I actually don't remember anything after the 3rd set! So if I happened to talk to you, know it was with love.
The Turkey Fog is an eerie storm. Ridding victims of recent memories and magically tossing mustard bottles around the room. The only protection is a thinly sliced piece of luncheon meat placed precisely on your forehead, and sometimes that will not protect you.
Road Rage, My Ass. You're an Idiot.
You know what really pisses me off? Bad drivers. Inconsiderate drivers. Stupid, clueless drivers. People who drive slow in the fast lane. People who drive under the speed limit for no apparent reason. Those idiots who pull out in front of you off the highway on ramp at about 30 miles an hour. Or the clueless person who stops because they do not know the meaning of the word "merge".
Yeah, and those folks who are always slipping on thru the left turn light after it's red just because they think they can. I endure that every single night on the drive home from work! Makes my blood boil as they run the red light, yakking on their cell phone as if they are standing in their kitchen! Wake up! You are driving a frickin car thru the busiest intersection in Arkansas, running a red light to boot! Unless you are talking to GW about the border crisis, get off the frickin phone and start paying attention!
That's when I would love to have a couple .30 caliber machine gun barrels mounted inside the hood. Push a button, turn on the HUD and let 'em rip on the sorry bastards. Go ahead, pull on out there you stupid idiot! And these lame excuses for licensed drivers aren't just limited to Arkansas. Oh no. Missouri has more than their share, as does the rest of the country. And Canada. And Puerto-Rico. And Dominica. It's the invasion of the piss poor driver!
Or how about the guy who pulls out in front of you doing 80, only to slow to an excruciating pace, making such a graceful, no hurry turn 75 feet up the road! Or, how about that sorry punk this morning passing me on the highway at 90+ only to have to brake and swerve in front of me to make his exit? Absolutely no one behind me. Fifteen cars in front of me and he has to pull that shit. And it wasn't even my exit! Just who was he getting in front of? Just as soon run over the guy!
These are probably the same assholes who don't know how to park! And is it just me, or do you often wonder who these folks are that plaster the rear of their vehicle with so many bumper stickers and decals that you cannot even see what color the car is? What kind of statement are they trying to make, besides "I like trashing my ride"? You'd need to follow them 10 miles to read them all! Of course, that is if you can stand their driving. You'd probably lose them at the left turn red light. But let them go, they are busy talking to GW. The adhesive is so strong on them decals, maybe it's holding the piece of shit together.
What do I know. But, if one of them decals say's POJ, stand down, let them go in peace and pray the adhesive keeps that window from falling out.
Vote for Your Freedom - Vote NO on smoking bans in Independence and Overland Park
You have to make a stand. I don't smoke, but I can see, as most of you do, that this is not about smoking. This is about taking the freedom away from the people. Local churches and other civic organizations are at the heart of these measures. They don't give at rat's ass about your lungs, they know if they can ban smoking, small restaurants and bars that YOU love to visit will be ruined. Don't let this happen.... you HAVE TO VOTE in Independence and Overland Park in the November election against the smoking bans.
Think of what it will mean to you when you can no longer go out and enjoy a drink or hear a band play, because the bar you used to do that at has closed down because some assholes passed a bill that cut out 90% of their clientele.
Read this article and see the crazy shit these people are saying.
What a Weekend at The Pig!
Great show this weekend at our favorite stage in the area, The Pig. Although none of our regulars showed up, the crowd was rockin. We got some video and audio recorded this weekend too, so be looking for some clips on the Media page of our site, and we'll be producing a live audio CD and full video DVD for promo paks and possible for sale.
My favorite blonde had a birthday this weekend too, happy 30 something Ms. E. And thanks for the parking job on the front lawn, that was a classic. Johnnie Walls, former/part-time member of was 'in the house' recording the audio for us, reaking havoc with Dave, Flea and Squint! We also had my buddy and co-worker, Byron Hester out shooting some video for us. He did a great job, and his eyes should clear up by next weekend we think.
At the after parties, we had the usual sausage, biscuits and gravy... a world-class batch from yours truly. We also had glue stick on the mouth of a unnamed keyboard player, some great Pink Floyd viewing, biscuits in the washing machine (I found last night while washing work clothes for the week, thanks Troy!), and even some Norwegian Wood.
Our favorite kegger girl, Dolly was in fine form this weekend, displaying the puppies for all who would look. And we ALL looked. Man, that is some impressive hardware young lady... we are officially impressed! We hear the "drop date" for then new little "Nick-ette" is this week, mama was there all weekend. We were waiting for her to pop right there at any moment, but she did make it through Saturday night.
Thanks to all of you POJ Nation that did show up, and for the people we didn't know in the crowd, thank you too! Hope you enjoyed yourselves, we'll be back out that way in December.
Happy IDP Day to All of My "Special" Friends
Today is International Disadvantaged People's Day. Please send an encouraging message to a retarded friend like yourself. I don't care if you lick windows, pee in drawers, vote liberal or occasionally shit yourself.
You hang in there sunshine, you're fucking special... and don't let anyone tell you different.
Evil Free World vs. Holy Arab World
Do you not remember the 1967 Arab-Israeli War or the Six Days' War? When all the Arab states decided that all Jews must die, and Israel had no place in the world. Israel took on Egypt, Iraq, Syria and Jordan and kicked their asses, taking over the West Bank, Gaza Strip, Sinai Peninsula and the Golan Heights in only 6 DAYS!! Why do you continuously fuck with these people and the United States?
So the ingenious masterplan by Hesbollah is to kidnap 2 Israeli soldiers and demand Israel to free 2,000 terrorist. Yeah, that's gonna happen. Instead, Hesbollah is currently receiving the wrath of the Israeli army (and no, the United States is not involved in this, despite what the left-wing pseudo-nazis would have you believe). When will it end? May Allah have mercy on your souls you poor bastards, because Israel has let loose a full ground assault and you ain't gonna find a berka, goat or rock house big enough to hide your sorry asses. Hesbollah is a terrorist organization, who with their backing by Syria and Iran, have led the good people of Lebanon to believe they are a ligitimate political organization. They are not, and the newly created government of Lebanon cannot and will not be able to control them.
Israel doesn't want your land, they don't want your stuff... they just want you to let them live in peace and stop terrorizing the entire world. Israel drops pamphlets to the people living in the areas they plan to bomb. Giving them warning and time to leave and save themselves, but the people choose to let Hesbollah terrorists set up missiles and armories in their houses, below the beds of their children. Does this sound like a rational people?
Israel is fighting the first battles of WWIII for us (the United States). We should all be thanking them, and hope they make some headway before the mother of all wars breaks out in the near future.
So here's to the masterminds of the 5th century, who have no desire to catch up to the rest of the world and instead choose to kill and maime innocent people, even their own, in an attempt to make the rest of the MODERN world conform to their Flintstones way of life and religion. I suppose we should tear down our skyscrapers and homes and businesses and everything we've achieved over our thousands of years of evolution... and join our sand brothers by moving to the deserts and covering up our beautiful women and fucking the nearest goat and/or camel we can find.
Rock on...
Just for fun, let's compare some things between Us and Them...
| Evil Free World | Holy Arab World | |
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| Evil Free World | Holy Arab World | |
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| Evil Free World | Holy Arab World | |
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| Evil Free World | Holy Arab World | |
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| Evil Free World | Holy Arab World | |
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| Evil Free World | Holy Arab World | |
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OK, Ok... point made. Guys, just chill. We don't hate you, we just want your oil. So I hope you have a plan for existing after the Great Evil U.S. empire finally finds an alternative to oil. Cos' you all will just be a big, shiny piece of glass when we are done buying your oil and have no more use for you. See you all next week.
