is proud to present The Dumbass of the Week.
These are some of our favorite people... celebrity psychos, actors, politicians, friends, world leaders and just plain, old everyday dumbasses from around the world and around the neighborhood.
DISCLAIMER:
Opinions expressed on this website do not necessarily reflect the feelings and beliefs of the band. They are just funny observations and rants, so don't get your panties in a bunch if you don't agree with what you see here. Send us what YOU think is stupid or fucked up in the world, and we'll post your stuff too! Rock on.
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Oompa Loompa, Doompadee Doo. I've got a perfect puzzle for you...
This was a toss up. Possibly him for being so chicken-shit about the whole thing... or maybe her, for well, just being the hooch that she is. I decided it was too hard to call, so we have our first "draw" in the POJ D.O.T.W. award. Salute!
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| Oompa Loompa Love kicks ass! |
I think the conversation went something like this on Saturday night...
Oompa #1:
"Uhhhh, he's acting funny. Did you say anything to him?"
Oompa #2:
"No, I didn't say anything, what did you say?"
Oompa #1:
"Mmmmmm, I didn't say anything about it, but at dinner he asked me if you and I had babies, would they grow up to work in a chocolate factory."
Oompa #2:
"That's wierd."
OK, I'm done. but the rule was clearly defined see Disclaimer.
Where do I begin? What a pathetic excuse of a person. Even her parents think of her as the ultimate branding of the Hilton name. They are so proud of their daughter they want to throw a get out of jail party!
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| After learning of Paris' release from jail, her dog makes a valiant attempt to swim back across the border. |
To top it off, one of the richest families in the country, perhaps the world, also want to charge ABC to interview her to further promote the Hilton name! Not to mention the mentally ill Bawbaw Wawas stooping so low as to do it!
That blonde bitch Hilton makes me sick just looking at her. Twisted people they are indeed, so filled with greed and arrogance they can’t even see what a joke they have become. Blind to their own dismal meaningless life they grasp at the limelight to try and fill their emptiness. We are a sorry nation, when the media lines up to glorify and glamorize her release from jail as her fans hail her as a celebrity to emulate. It’s no wonder much of the world perceives America as a lust filled, cesspool of gluttony. Just look at the spectacle of Paris Hilton. It’s no wonder, indeed.
Where is a suicide bomber when you need one?
Al Gore Ain't Your Mommy (Or a scientist!)
Carbon credits my ass. What kind of conspiracy is this? Mankind is the cause of global warming? Some woeful nuts have created this system of selling carbon credits as if this helps? What a crock of shit! Al Gore and his Hollywood cronies would like nothing better than for us to get scared about the future of the earth because of global warming. (Meanwhile, Islamic radicals want to kill us all RIGHT NOW.) Don’t get me wrong. There is certainly evidence that the earth is currently in a warming cycle. But to ignore hard science is nothing short of criminal. No way in hell our tiny little asses have anything to do with global warming. You need to see the “other side” of the story, as you will never see on the liberal media networks – and apparently you will now have difficulty watching online – a documentary aired in Europe this past spring that totally debunks Al Gore’s version of his inconvenient truth. I could tell you about how sunspot activity, combined with cosmic radiation, along with relative global cloud cover play far more of a role in global temperature changes than man’s folly. I could tell you that this “air pollutant” is actually a natural gas listed on the periodic table of the elements. CO2 IS A NATURAL GAS – (not unlike my frequent farting).
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| Al even has a hard time swalling this shit he's preaching. |
I could also tell you that the largest greenhouse gas is actually water vapor and CO2 is only a fraction of the total. I could also tell you that the oceans emit more CO2 than humankind’s industry, animal waste and vegetation combined every single year. I could also tell you that CO2 output FOLLOWS temperature fluctuation. It does not precede, or cause them. I could also tell you that the Kyoto protocol is all bullshit aimed to stifle economic growth in developed nations, leaving undeveloped, far more polluting nations left unchecked. I could also tell you there is an entire industry created that funnels easy government money (your tax dollars!) into global warming research that would suddenly stop if the real truth ever made its way into the psyche of society. This is all documented by credible experts from all over the world. Even the founders of Greenpeace think Gore is nuts. They’ll tell you how their lives have been threatened and their jobs have been threatened if they don’t keep quiet about the real truth. Meanwhile, Gore primps himself for the Nobel Prize. How pathetic this country’s politics have become. How apathetic we as a nation have become. I am ashamed. Now, I will be the first to tell you it is a good thing to conserve energy & natural resources, reduce waste and protect our environment. We should all take part. But let’s be sensible. Not fanatical. Perpetuating this hysteria around the myth that human kind created global warming is down right stupid.
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| Al will do anything he can to make his "story" seem real. "Where are all the polar bears?" |
I’ll warn you now. “Mysteriously”, this video disappears off internet sites – I suppose for some ‘convenient’ copyright violations. It’s no longer found on google video. The closest I can get today (June 15, 2007) is the original station that aired the program – it has some content on the program, but the entire 74 minute video is gone. Search for this phrase on google and check out the results. “The Great Global Warming Swindle” There are bits and pieces available, along with fresh views that this is the real propaganda and not Gore’s version. How convenient.
I’m a fairly smart guy. I realize the science of global warming is far from understood and I am certainly am no expert (but neither is politician Al Gore). Just 35 years ago, headlines read we were heading for another ice age because the earth was in a cooling cycle. I mean really! What is it? Are we burning up or freezing to death? Did the introduction of ice machines put us into a cold spell spiral only to be reversed by the clear cut burning happening now in South America? Maybe the earth just has a bad case of the flu and it takes it half a century to recover? Regardless, jumping to the far fetched conclusion that man can control or influence global temperature fluctuation is well, far fetched.
In the meantime… enjoy this nice article scanned from the June 11 edition of Investor’s Business Daily’s editorial page, providing a clear example of how people in prominent positions of climatology are being forced to tow the political line, or else. This is an outrage. Where in the hell is our national backbone? Where is our fortitude for us to stand up and stop this bullshit before it consumes us? God help us.
http://www.independent.org/newsroom/article.asp?id=1945
http://www.realclearpolitics.com/articles/2007/03/global_warming_swindle.html
This, being POJ, would like to take this opportunity to apologize for the melee on Saturday night at the Pig. On behalf of the sound crew, we are truly sorry for the fight that broke out at the end of the night. Our guy was totally out of line and is deserving of the DOTW award for certain. Not to say that others were innocent in the events leading up to this, but we won't mention any names here.
We'd also like to say, if you are a woman that is mooching off of one of the band members, living in his place and playing "I'm in love"... then you decide to leave and start dating one of our sound guys, DON'T bring your sorry ass back to our shows... EVER!! Stay the fuck away, we don't want to see you anymore. We certainly don't want the drama that is caused by your presence. Move on with you life and find another band to torment, we won't have any hard feelings.*
(*Disclaimer: This rule obviously doesn't apply to women involved with keyboard players, because they are ALWAYS well-behaved and welcome at shows with their numerous new boyfriends. If those poor bastards can put up with you, so can we. But if you start dating a crew member, you will be banned from further shows.)
For our loyal POJ Nation that was involved, we're sorry for the fight, because we are SURE you didn't have anything to do with initiating or provoking anybody, right! RIGHT. Anyway... Water under the bridge, we don't want this sort of thing going on again at a POJ show, and our boys have been put on notice and threatened with physical violence and psychological torment if it happens again.
We have pondered the events of St. Patricks Day, 2007, and have determined that the blame lies solely on the Independence City Council for banning cigarettes and making normally peace-loving people turn to acts of rage. But hey, thanks for watching out for us, we really appreciate your interest in our health. We know it has nothing at all to do with your fucking Nazi, Big Brother mentality and wanting to impose your worthless, liberal ideas on our lives.
Now let's all just get along, save the fighting for home where it belongs. Go home, eat some meat, get a beer and light up.
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| Tom Cruise explaining how L. Ron Hubbard appeared to him in the closet. |
Tom Cruise on Oprah
Tom Cruise Interview w/ Matt Lauer (Transcript)
Tom Cruise Interview w/ Matt Lauer
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| OK, which one of you cute little commy bastards gets the next blow job? |
Well, she's back again. Now the self-proclaimed political guru and womens' rights activist has started her own radio network, "Women's Radio Network". In promoting this new venture, Hanoi Jane (remember, womens' rights acitvist) proclaimed that, "Women need a radio station of their own. They don't watch the male-oriented television news. With our new radio programming, women can now listen to topical discussions important to them while they perform their daily routines of cleaning house, cooking, and sewing."
Nice, you stupid bitch. I don't think any men out there would dare imply that women spend their days sewing and cleaning. Hanoi Jane also stated that this network would have "no political agenda." Although the first two "talents" mentioned that would be helping her in this venture are Rosie "I'm hungry for a carpet and I hate all men" O'Donnell and Gloria Steinham.
Jane, you are truly a fucking idiot. I'll forgive you for having those POW's murdered in the 60's as soon as the Jews forgive Hitler.
Hanoi Jane (Jane Fonda's radio address which she had broadcast in North Vietnam, August 22, 1972.)
Greenstone women's radio network, read the comments at the bottom.
Bill "I did not have sexual relations with that woman" Clinton
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| A Brit, telling it like it is. What say you, Mr. Clinton? |
But when the questions turned to REAL issues, like "why the hell didn't you kill Bin Laden when you had him in your sights after he attacked the USS Cole, the first WTC bombing, and the bombing of two US embassies in Africa which killed over 220 people, Mr. Clinton became very aggitated and lost his ever-loving mind. It was a thing of beauty.
Funny how Mr. Clinton's actressing changes when the camera in front of him is not from the Clinton News Network (CNN for those of you that didn't catch the joke.)
Bill Clinton loses it on "60 Minutes" (Chris Wallace interview)
Woman released from 30-day stay at the dog pound
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| Cheryl Walker hugs friend after being released from the pound. Did they let the right dog out though? |
It was a dog's life for Cheryl Walker, who emerged Sunday afternoon after spending 30 days living in a kennel at Marion-Grant County Humane Society shelter.
Walker entered her 4- by 7-foot kennel Sept. 2 to raise money for a new shelter and to create awareness for animal adoption. She raised $8,161.88 in her stay, but she still hopes people will donate more - her goal is $3 million. Also during her stay, 110 animals were rescued or adopted.
(I am) feeling really good," Walker said after leaving the kennel. "I am so excited to be able to go home and hang out with everyone."
We're just wondering if she's as worried about her family as she is about the other dogs. Although very unattractive, and physically unappealling in every way, this lady has a big heart when it comes to dogs.
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| We've always been proud of mom. She's always loved her stays at the animal shelter. |
"I think I was the only one that didn'tcall her crazy," Holton said. "All I could do was cry and say, 'Aww ... that is just totally awesome.'"
The humane society hosted an open house Saturday afternoon as a thank you to Walker. She was offered another $10,000 from a local steel workers union, if she would stay in her yard and stop pissing on their tools every morning.
"She has been an asset to this shelter in more ways than I could ever tell her," Holton said. "It was complete unselfishness on her part. She has become a very close friend and I'd like to take her home and tie her to a tree in the back yard."
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| Hey America, what do you think of my new "bag"? Ooh, no you didn't... |
Bono and Oprah give each other a hand during a meeting of the mindless in Chicago. The pair joined forces to promote the U2 frontman's "Project Red," a campaign to raise money to fight AIDS in Africa.
Well, I will say it's a noble cause. At least this time Boner is using his status as washed up rock star to raise money for a worthy cause. And hey, isn't Oprah looking Great! She ought to hire a couple of little homeless Ethernopians to help her carry those bags under her eyes, they're looking pretty heavy, O!
Well, I don't have anything really bad to say, who doesn't want to help the little AIDS people in Africa... I just really hate both of these people. Stick to your crappy music and your self-righteous media empire you two, nobody else in the world gives a shit about your political opinions. And Bono, lose the glasses and get a fucking last name.
I'm going to start a new campaign to wipe out crappy music, what do you think of "Project No More Shitty Irish Fake Rock n Roll."
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